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Safewords & check-ins
Everything else on this site builds on this. Read it together before trying anything new.
The traffic-light system
- ·Green — all good, keep going.
- ·Yellow — slow down or ease off, but don’t stop.
- ·Red — stop everything, immediately. No explanation needed, no sulking afterward.
When someone can’t speak
- ·If a mouth is gagged or busy, agree on a non-verbal signal: drop a held object, snap fingers, or tap three times.
- ·During deep oral, two taps on the thigh means pull back right now — even when the other person is setting the pace.
- ·Check in with a question that needs a real answer (“what color are you?”), not just a nod.
Before and after
- ·Agree on limits out loud before you start — not in the moment.
- ·Aftercare: water, warmth, closeness, and a quick talk about what you loved and what to change.
- ·Check in again the next day. Feelings sometimes show up late.